Ogden restaurant/apartment fire
Yesterday afternoon a fire broke out at Pedro’s restaurant on Washington Blvd in Ogden and spread to apartments above the restaurant. According to Deputy Fire Chief Greg Chamberlain the fire dept. received the call around 2:00 yesterday afternoon, and the department had the fire put out within an hour. The fire started in the kitchen of the restaurant and spread through the rest of the building. All together five people were in the building all escaped with only minor injuries. Deputy Chief Chamberlain said, "I’m just glad we got everybody out", he continued, "Even thought the building is a total loss, It’s human life that’s important, so I would consider this a success".
Two of the people inside were in Pedros Restaurant, one customer and the owner of the Restaurant Pedro Gonzales. Pedro has been in business here for almost two years, and says he was cooking in the kitchen when the fire he was cooking with, spread onto some grease, creating a grease fire. "I grabbed the extinguisher and tried to put it out but I couldn’t put it out fast enough". Pedro then yelled for the customer in the restaurant to call for some help, that’s when the fire dept. was notified. Pedro suffered burns on his hands and was treated at Mckay-Dee Hospital.
The other three people in the building ; Pedro’s brother Miguel and Miguels two daughters 4 and 2 upstairs in an apartment. All escaped with only slight smoke inhalation.
The owner of the building Rachael Calhoon said " I’m just glad everyone’s able to walk away from this". She said the building will likely be re-built and Pedros Restaurant will be back.
-Danny Robinson
USU Jcom 1130
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3 comments:
Overall, this is a good story. It gets the facts and the story straight.
There are some problems with punctuation and spelling (likely because of the time constraints)-- "thought" instead of "though," "altogether" instead of "all together," etc.
You remembered certain style points such as abbreviating the word "boulevard" that others (including myself) did not.
What up D?
Great on including the detailed course of the incident.
If I was an Ogden resident and I first began to read this and didn't know about where Pedro's restaurant was on Washington Boulevard I would be left wondering where specifically on that street it happened. Maybe I'd never known of the restaurant as having ever existed, but at the same time if it was by somewhere I was working I may wanna go check it out the next day.
Also, to further sharpen your journalistic writing skills, try breaking away from old English class rules and break up your story segments into smaller pieces. Try to challenge yourself to limit segments to having a maximum of three sentences, but at the same time to avoid wordiness.
Again terrific details, remember to list your segments from most important information to least important. And "sand" down your information as best you can to express it in the most clear and concise way.
Careful that you don't repeat yourself. It seems like there were a few sentences in your story that basically repeated exactly what you had said before. Other then that great story!
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